If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why would Brooke go the entire way to Russia to get rid of her MS?”, today would be a glaring example of why I think absolutely nothing of flying 10 hours, enduring 6 weeks of agony and up to 2+ years of recovery to make that happen.
To the best of my knowledge, there is no one that I know who likes to shop more than I do. Well, maybe one person, and I just so happened to give birth to her (love you, Carson). Today, I go to JCPenney for a pair of twill pants. First off, have you been in there lately? It’s like they put off a bomb and everything landed in a different spot than it has been the prior 10 years. I walked the entire way around the downstairs and could not find these pants. I asked the sales person where they were. Surprise! On the opposite side of the store…The store with carpet, tile, carpet, tile, carpet, tile. Uneven surfaces are no friend to me (my track record includes 3 falls at the mall). I find them, go to the dressing room and begin the process of trying them on. Have you ever tried on clothes when you’re completely intoxicated? (PM me if you don’t want to reveal publicly) ha ha. That’s what it’s like with MS. And, of course, I have to lift and place my “bad” leg into the pants (like you would a child). I stand up, try to button the pants with one hand, while holding onto the wall. They fit! I begin redressing, which includes putting my foot brace back on, adjusting the tightness of the shoe, and the two straps of the brace. I finally get to the checkout and I’m sweating from head to toe, oh, but not my right side because, thanks to MS, it doesn’t sweat anymore. You’d think that was a blessing until you notice the people at physical therapy staring at the freaky chick who’s only sweating out of one armpit. They ring me up and I find that the super cute grape-colored windbreaker that was on clearance for $10, was actually down to $4. Score!! So, if you’re like me, you get all excited about your deal of the century. Well, for someone with MS, at least for me, when you get excited, either for something happy or something stressful (MS can’t tell the difference), I start to shake, especially my legs. When my legs shake (it’s called clonus), it’s more difficult to walk, which makes it more exhausting, and by the time I make it back to the car, I collapse into it, with my glow from the thought of the fabulous grape-colored windbreaker completely erased. MS is such a FUNBUSTER!
So, if you ever find yourself tempted to question my motives for going to Russia…IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SHOPPING, PEOPLE! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SHOPPING!
If you’ll excuse me, I’m “gonna pop some tags” off of the new shoes that the Fedex man just delivered to my front door. How you like me now, MS???!!!